Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Therapy of an 8 Day Trip Back Home.....

first night home...

hugged my kids who met me in the driveway before I ever made it into the house...

listened to their hundreds of stories...(the good ones THEY wanted to tell)...

unpacked two full suitcases of clothes and started washing them...

went to get on my computer and it was NOT working...

*k, so my kids were NOT to TOUCH the computer while I was gone but no one knows who did... hmmmmm, unplugged it all, got it back up and running....
listened to Randy yell at the kids (the yelling started because no one would admit they were on the computer). I was actually proud of him because he wasn't so passive about it as he has been in the past. He was yelling at them that they were lucky I even came back home at all. After him having to deal with them for a little over a week he now understands more of why I needed to get away.

Now, that may sound pretty harsh, but the point was finally made to Randy AND to the kids that what I deal with on a daily basis is so much more than anyone could realize unless you walk in my shoes *three or four days away is not long enough to make anyone understand that. It's not just the four kids, or that two are teens and one is a pre-teen. It's not that one of the teens is ADD with some mild social autism issues we deal with daily mostly directed at me (the one he loves most, his therapist says). It's not that one of our children is sicker than most realize because I stay so positive about it that people don't know the full spectrum of what I deal with. It's not the "hey mom?" 400 times a day I hear or the phone calls I receive when I just leave to run to the grocery store by myself... It's not the lack of affection in this home because everyone is so consumed with their own lives and trying to make sure THEY are heard... It's not the daily task of running the house, keeping everyone clean and clothed, fed and healthy, it's not the financial piece of me paying all the bills and balancing the banking accounts... I can't even list more of the "tasks" that are completed by me on a daily basis in addition to all of my charity and advocacy work I do. *which is what is considered my job as well as my passion, the one thing I truly ENJOY doing!

EIGHT days.... they all handled it for eight days and for the most part kept it together, but now, it all kicks back in and I go back and pick up the slack where it was left behind.

So, when you ask me how I could get Randy to agree to "LET" me take 8 days away and go to Texas by myself?..... I truly didn't give him much of a choice.

How could I "choose" a convertible when a cheaper car would have served the same purpose?.... I truly WANTED to enjoy that feeling of freedom just for a small moment....

How could I be away from my children for 8 days?.... I am still out on that one, I missed them terribly, but I am hoping that it will give me back a little bit of the patience that I seem to have been lacking lately.

I regret nothing and feel no guilt about this trip. Honestly, if I knew YOU well enough... and knew the shoes YOU walk in daily.... if I knew YOUR shoes were as worn as mine, I would recommend you do the same thing.

Step away....... gain perspective..... try to gather strength and peace to come back fully charged again. Mid life crisis? probably not, I am not going to go buy a beach house or a convertible...... but I had the most amazing time! I was caring for ME for the first time in a LONG time. Selfish? maybe.... but after years of caring for so many others in my life (not just family, but friends included) someone needed to care for ME, I miss being truly cared for and life has severely taken that away (as I am sure it has for many of us).... I am admitting a weakness here *something not easy for me to do so this note is somewhat therapeutic.

Mostly what I learned while I was gone is that I am so terribly sad about not being near the ones I love outside of my immediate family. I miss my friends and my family that are still in Texas and I miss Texas itself. You often hear people say "It's a Texas thang, you wouldn't understand...." how very true that is.

Though not born there, I moved there when I was 2 and it was all I knew until I started moving away for relationship reasons. My dreams have always been to move back "home" so when I come to visit, it is extremely hard to leave...

So now......Life goes on, Pammie comes back into play here in Tennessee for now and KC, MO later, whenever... at whatever time THE COMPANY says it's time to go *again, out of my control..... but my heart and my soul will always be right where it needs to be and every chance I get will be spent back in Texas.

There truly is no place like home, and Texas will always be my home.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Fordcast - Wordless Wednesday

Seems I can't seem to get much blogging done lately EXCEPT Wordless Wednesdays! LOL

End of the school year was joy (and chaos) all the way around.
All four of my children did OUTSTANDING in school this year...
31 A's, 3 B's and 2 C's!!!
(okay, so I'm bragging a little, but I AM SUPER PROUD!)

My 5th grader graduated elementary school with a Silver Presidents Education Award!
*mom beaming.......

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Fordcast - Blogroll! How Fun is THAT!!!

So how fun is this? Over 300 new blogs to look at! Find the ones you like, support them, tell them you found them here and that MomDot provided the list! I am excited... School gets out in a day and a half and I will have SO much time to look at these! :-)


Thursday, May 14, 2009

Fordcast - May I Have an N Please


There are people in this world who have no children... and then there is me! I sometimes dream back to the days when the month of May was just that, one month in a series of twelve that make up a year! When you have a child in school the month of May becomes much more than just A month it becomes THE MONTH... add to that three MORE children and this is what you get...

4 Dr. Appointments
8 Performances
7 Programs/Award Ceremonies
9 Rehearsals
4 Field Trips
4 Parties
3 Meetings
1 Field Day
2 sets of Final Exams
1 5K for a charity close to our hearts
1 Golf tournament (for marching band)
4 Birthdays/Birthday Parties
4 Baseball Games for Randy
3 Picnics
and of course, Mother's Day

and that is just from April 25th to May 25th!!!!

Now, before anyone starts to say "you are the one that had so many hatchings" or "don't complain, it's your own fault"... Yes, I wanted multiple children. Yes, I chose to have a fourth. I am very blessed and very thankful for my life. VERY thankful.

But, seriously? Does EVERYTHING have to be in May? Okay, I totally understand the end of the school year stuff (our school year ends May 21st). Awards, promotion ceremonies, finals... but why do the field trips, performances, etc... all have to be scheduled for the last 2 weeks of school? Not to mention that National Teacher Appreciation Day was May 5th, so we as a PTO set Teacher Appreciation Week for that week. Yes, I said we, I did it too!!!! It made sense at the time...

I am financially, emotionally, mentally and physically fried.... I have notes coming home DAILY letting me know what I need to send for which event. My MomAgenda is completely full and that takes a LOT of scheduling! I feel I am under pressure to NOT send water to the 7th grade picnic (supposed to send sodas to that one) or sodas to the 8th grade picnic (send chips for that one)!!! What am I supposed to bring for Field Day, crap, I don't even remember and forget the 3rd grade picnic with the parent/child kickball competition that Jaxen can not even participate in!!!! I am up to my ears in reminder notes, and I am an ORGANIZED parent. It really seems as if each grade believes that your one child in their one class is the only child you are allowed to have. Which may be the case for some, but in our community is clearly NOT the case for most! I can only imagine what some of the other parents feel like, or maybe they just don't care, which would be so much easier! rotfl.....

Add to that the fact that Tennessee has had more rain already in May than we usually get in the entire month! I am going insane!!! Forget the old Calgon - Take me away commercials... I need a big ship to take me away on a 4 week cruise starting at the end of April every year.

Maybe next year I will do that and leave it all in the dear husbands hands to handle. That way when I come home and say, "what's for dinner" or "is my uniform clean for my game?" maybe he will understand "THE LOOK" I give him just a little better! LOL

Here's hoping and praying for a great May day today (in spite of the rain AGAIN)! All joking aside, I do love my life, my family and our choices we have made. We stay involved in our children's lives because it is important to us. I wouldn't have it any other way *unless they ask me for suggestions which isn't likely to happen! heehee

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Fordcast - Wordless Wednesday

Spring outside our bedroom window....

Friday, April 10, 2009

Fordcast - Disney 100!

Okay, so maybe it wasn't my brightest moment when I decided to chaperone 100 seventh and eigth grade band members to Disney for Spring Break.... *what could I possibly have been thinking?

Two of the members were children of my own and I made sure I paid a visit to "Design a Tee" on the Disney Strip and designed these t-shirts! One says Band Trip - Spring Break 2009 with a picture of Mickey yawning (since the kids got NO sleep the entire trip) and the other says I Survived "The Band Trip" Spring Break 2009 with a pic of Mickey running and screaming! This was an awesome place and had the shirts ready by the time we finished dinner and shopping! :-) The kids wore them the last day and a couple other moms did the same thing.... (only one other mom did the Survived shirt)!

We visited all four Disney Parks and I enjoyed each one for different reasons, but Epcot is still one of my favorites. I have only been to Disney during the Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays when it is all dressed up for Christmas, so I truly enjoyed the spring decorations. The flowers at Epcot were absolutely beautiful! The weather was great and as usual, there was one really cold day. I think we brought it from Tennessee because it spit sleet and snow here while we were gone! The rest of the weather was absolutely beautiful though. 70's, some 80's! BEAUTIFUL!!! Rain on and off one day and that was it!

Coming home from a trip like that (Saturday 6am to Thursday 9am) is always a treat. My other two children had made a banner for us! They were so proud of it! They really missed us a lot, Jaxen slept in my bed and took over my comfy red pillows! LOL I think they took over the neighbors house too while we were gone, but I know they were very well behave at home by themselves while Randy worked. Funny how your two youngest can be your two most mature!

Randy even cut fresh Lilacs from one of our two HUGE Lilac bushes and put them in a vase with a card! They smell so wonderful. I need to go take pics of all the green and flowers outside today.... I love Tennessee in Spring and am so happy to be home.

Lessons were learned on this trip just as they would be on any trip. Middle School drama is overwhelming, but CAN be overcome.... They just need love and attention. Like my own children, they need it from somewhere other than home. Their own parents are getting frustrated with them just as I am getting frustrated with my teenagers. Why is it that during these difficult ages, it is easier to connect with others' teenagers? I don't understand that! LOL

I feel as if I gained a huge group of new daughters and sons on this trip, some new adult friends as well and am so very thankful I went. *even if the drive out there that should have taken 11-12 hours took 17 hours (thanks Atlanta)!

Trying to catch up on some sleep, mail, bills, all the good stuff now! *TV shows....

Fordcast - Proud and exhausted!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Fordcast - Wordless Wednesday

We sure do LOVE our Predators HOCKEY!!!!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Fordcast ~ Accomplished and Proud

(Anyone need a boyfriend?)

(Ummmm, any resemblance?)

(He just makes me *smile* )

(Jaxen even met Martina McBride)

Friday night was another one of the nights that will live in our hearts forever.

Ringside ~ A Fight for Kids 2009 was held at the Factory in Franklin, TN and Randy, Jaxen and I were guests of The Charley Foundation. The rest of the family stayed home since it was a special event that was not intended necessarily for children to attend (although Jaxen is a guest of honor!) It is a black tie boxing event with tons of cigars! LOL

I am always moved by how many people we actually know at this event. I mean, I KNOW with my brain that we know that many of them, but seeing it and feeling the love of it all as the night goes on makes it all so real.

This year, in addition to Jaxen singing the National Anthem, I was asked to go onstage and give a speech about our relationship with The Charley Foundation and Camp Charley. Simple enough, right… wrong. Trying to put into words your exact feelings about such an amazing group of people that hold such a treasured place in your life is extremely challenging. To add to that, it is always hard to explain to people how you can look at life as such a blessing in the middle of such hardship. Not all families are blessed with the ability to do that, but we definitely are.

Jaxen’s diagnosis has caused great financial hardship as well as the daily stresses of dealing with a sick child. Through all of that though, my natural instinct is to see the blessings it has brought to our family. I don’t mean the blessings of “things” like his Wish trip, or air plane flights or events… I mean the most valued blessings of friendships that will never be lost. Relationships that will always mean more to us than anyone could possibly comprehend. I really don’t believe the people that we care so much about even realize how much they mean to us! LOL
Even Jaxen's personal Caringbridge blog does it… the people that consistently go there to check on him are really more than just “followers” of Jaxen’s care. They are true friends in every sense of the word.

We are anxiously awaiting the “professional” copies of the performance and the speech from The Charley Foundation and we will post it once we get it! For now though, please enjoy the determined courage of our hero…. Jaxen Randall Ford, 8 years old, singing our anthem to a room full of guests, Ringside ~ A Fight for Kids…

Here are some pics too from an incredible photographer that was there! He is amazing!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Fordcast ~ Bargains Part 2 (minus the headache)

Okay, so now that my headache has eased up a LITTLE bit, I am able to add a little more information about my "bargain" clothing! LOL

This jacket, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, was purchased at Goodwill for $5..... That's right folks, $5...... Now you might ask, "Gee, Pamela, What's wrong with it, why would someone part with a totally awesome Ann Taylor LOFT, size 6 PETITE, lined jacket such as this WITH THE TAGS STILL ON IT....?????" and OF COURSE, my answer would have to be "Uh, DUH, so I could find it!!!! LOL"

I can't wait for spring every year so I can start wearing it and I am always *trying* to push the season a little closer just so I can put it on!

THAT folks, is what I call a PERFECT find that you can only find if you just keep looking!

The next two dresses, if you will PLEASE forgive the fact that they need ironed, are from Old Navy. What is so cool about these is that

1. I got them for a HUGE sale price of less than $12 each

2. They layer incredibly with long sleeve T's, tights, leather boots, OR sandals and no shirt under them!

3. IF, and I reply IF, I were pregnant.... which there is no chance in (a very warm location) that I would EVER do that again... I digress.... these dresses would STILL work!

I only iron them as I am about to wear them and I use a little bit of starch 'cuz they are 100% cotton. Very thin and flowy and really two of my "spring/summer/fall" staples. (kind of thin for winter!)

Okay, here is the GREATEST thing about these two dresses.....THEY BOTH HAVE POCKETS!!!!!!

Now, I have four kids. Someone is ALWAYS handing me something, asking me for something..... My cell phone is always in my hand (or I guess you could say my crackberry)... again, I digress....

Anyway, I just love these dresses!

My husband is not actually fond of the "style" of them but let's face it, he doesn't have to wear them (unless he wants to!)

I think he is a little freaked out by the fact that they could pass for maternity, but really they ARE NOT!

They are just very free flowing and extremely comfortable!

I heart them...... Have I told you that yet?

Okay, I mentioned yesterday about my absolute FAVORITE pair of shoes. I don't even know how old this pair of Chucks are.... I just know I LOVE THEM..... About every four months or so I throw them in the washer (which fades them a little more - LOVE IT) and give them a make-over with new fancy laces that cost a couple $$.

I even have my next laces ready, but I just bought the brown laces!

I have a hard time buying NEW Chucks because they look, well, NEW... LOL.... but I do have more than just this pair!

My kids friends call me the "cool" mom 'cuz I wear Chucks which totally cracks me up since Chucks have been around since before these kids were even thought of! But, hey, if I am the cool mom, then that means they can trust me and if my shoes are to blame for that then ROCK ON!

Last topic, belts. Can't provide a picture of my favorite because my 14 year old son borrowed mine today (without asking I might add) arghhhhh....

When you wear jeans that have loops, wear a COOL belt... NOT a frumpy belt, a COOL belt. I got an really inexpensive belt at Kohls that the buckle snaps onto so you can change it out. The buckle I bought for it is the body part of a guitar! It is completely my personality (and aparently my sons as well) but I LOVE IT! Cheap, inexpensive belts don't last as long, but if they are inexpensive then it means you can change your look up by getting more than one or in my case buying several nice buckles and when the belt itself falls apart, just buying the belt!!!!

So there. The rest of my blog from yesterday! Now I have to go prepare to get all "frumpy" for a big charity event tomorrow night! I am most excited about my "watermelon" colored shoes and my Forever 21 jewelry I bought to match the shoes! The dress was all black, silver and white... couldn't stand to be that drab!!! :-)

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Fordcast - BARGAINS!!!!

Over at Kelly's Korner a discussion has started (thanks to her fabulous blog)

Kelly's Korner: Recession Fashion - Dressing Cute for Less!

about the recession and fashion!

Some tips I gave were:

*shopping at Goodwill for the PERFECT look!
*BIG clip on earrings to serve as accessories for your pumps!
*Layering a sweater and maybe even a belt OVER a dress so it looks like a skirt!
*Pants that button at the bottom to make capri's... as pants with a pair of Chuck Taylor All Stars (with amazingly cute laces I might add) and as capris with precious sandals!

I am sure i could come up with a ton more, but on this morning with a splitting heachache, it was all I could bare! LOL

Fordcast ~ Proud as We Can Be!

For the past few years, Jaxen (my youngest son) has been asked to attend the annual event, "Ringside ~ A Fight for Kids" in Franklin, TN. Last year was the first year he actually sang the National Anthem for the event and we were all so very proud!
Friday night he will be singing again. The difference this year will be that I will be introducing my son. I am sure I will get through it just fine. Jaxen and I are ambassadors for Make a Wish and speak all the time at events about Make a Wish. Introducing him may prove a challenge for me though since he is my hero and I am somewhat passionate about that!
This event, by The Charley Foundation, raises money for Make a Wish and Camp Charley as well as other organizations (these are the two that immediately effect our family.)
What an amazing night with an amazing group of people that we call some of our most treasured friends! We are honored to be a part of it.
The event includes three boxing events, a fabulous dinner and an amazing auction. Oh, and Jaxen singing! What could be better! :-)
Picture of the three of us from last years event. Dad and son wear matching tuxedos!

Jaxen singing the anthem with his hands in his pockets... LOL... We will see what he does this year to make us all laugh!
Notice the significant puffiness in his face? He was receiving massive amounts of steroids at the time. He looks completely different this year! He is back to being Just Jax!
Rock on Jaxen ~ We are proud of you... we love you!!!! Break a Leg

Mom and Dad
Bryce, Amanda and Bre' Lynne

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Fordcast ~ Madness Season 8 - Bring it!

Every year for the past few years I have hosted a bracket pool for the top contestants on American Idol. I don't recall if I have ever won, I do recall how amazingly fun it is. The smack talk, the nail biting, all of it!

This year there are 13 contestants which throws a new twist in it for us!

We have the most participants ever for season 8 and the most brackets ever!

The brackets are set up as an elimination bracket. Predict who will be eliminated each week and you receive points for each person who continues on.
Simple enough right? Well, NOOOOO... , Duh!

Take into consideration the Sanjaya debacle... Who would have ever thought that he would have continued for THAT long in the competition. Or the other end of the spectrum, Chris Daughtry who went out way too early during his season, only to release a top selling album almost immediately!

Hard decisions have to be made, tough choices of who is going, who is staying. Basing your decisions on popularity as well as voice, looks as well as their "story!" UGH......

I chose three different brackets, as did others involved this year! We will see how it goes.

Tonight is the night - Let the games begin!
(please let me win....) had to throw that in there, LOL

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Fordcast * White?

What? Is that? It can't be....

We've heard about it... often actually. Weathermen mention it in their reports like it will be all the time. We've seen it on the news all around us this year. TONS of it north of here. It's been cold enough here that it SHOULD have been here but no, it never did show up!

Until now...finally.... Fluffy, cold, beautiful SNOW!

Yes folks, MIDDLE Tenessee had snow.
* for about 4 hours this weekend* LOL

That's all we could squeeze out of it before the beautiful sun melted most of it!
Funny how West Tennessee had TONS of it, East Tennessee always gets it... we get "snow" days off of school because "it's coming" and it never gets here!
Enjoy our pics, starting with Jaxen's snow celebration!

What could be better than snow angels?

Amanda looks like it must be 10 degrees outside, but really it wasn't all that cold!

Jaxen over-acting a "rocket" snowball from his brother! LOL

Okay, I admit it... This is how I rock the snow!

Jaxen waiting for another rocket! LOL - he could really use some acting lessons!

And voila! Our pathetic, lopsided, leaf covered, once a year (if we're lucky) snowman! Which as of today is still standing, and is VERY skinny now..... lol

Come on SPRING!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Welcome all!

Wow, who would have ever thought I would venture into another blog!

BUT, here we go again...

Welcome to the Ford Family!

The crazy, sarcastic, insanity of our life will either drive you crazy or drive you to join us!

As I get this blog started, I will be preparing myself to share the side of our personalities only our closest friends get to see! The side some *naturally* don't understand!

So, sit back and enjoy

Today's Fordcast - Sunny with a Splash of Sarcasm!