Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Therapy of an 8 Day Trip Back Home.....

first night home...

hugged my kids who met me in the driveway before I ever made it into the house...

listened to their hundreds of stories...(the good ones THEY wanted to tell)...

unpacked two full suitcases of clothes and started washing them...

went to get on my computer and it was NOT working...

*k, so my kids were NOT to TOUCH the computer while I was gone but no one knows who did... hmmmmm, unplugged it all, got it back up and running....
listened to Randy yell at the kids (the yelling started because no one would admit they were on the computer). I was actually proud of him because he wasn't so passive about it as he has been in the past. He was yelling at them that they were lucky I even came back home at all. After him having to deal with them for a little over a week he now understands more of why I needed to get away.

Now, that may sound pretty harsh, but the point was finally made to Randy AND to the kids that what I deal with on a daily basis is so much more than anyone could realize unless you walk in my shoes *three or four days away is not long enough to make anyone understand that. It's not just the four kids, or that two are teens and one is a pre-teen. It's not that one of the teens is ADD with some mild social autism issues we deal with daily mostly directed at me (the one he loves most, his therapist says). It's not that one of our children is sicker than most realize because I stay so positive about it that people don't know the full spectrum of what I deal with. It's not the "hey mom?" 400 times a day I hear or the phone calls I receive when I just leave to run to the grocery store by myself... It's not the lack of affection in this home because everyone is so consumed with their own lives and trying to make sure THEY are heard... It's not the daily task of running the house, keeping everyone clean and clothed, fed and healthy, it's not the financial piece of me paying all the bills and balancing the banking accounts... I can't even list more of the "tasks" that are completed by me on a daily basis in addition to all of my charity and advocacy work I do. *which is what is considered my job as well as my passion, the one thing I truly ENJOY doing!

EIGHT days.... they all handled it for eight days and for the most part kept it together, but now, it all kicks back in and I go back and pick up the slack where it was left behind.

So, when you ask me how I could get Randy to agree to "LET" me take 8 days away and go to Texas by myself?..... I truly didn't give him much of a choice.

How could I "choose" a convertible when a cheaper car would have served the same purpose?.... I truly WANTED to enjoy that feeling of freedom just for a small moment....

How could I be away from my children for 8 days?.... I am still out on that one, I missed them terribly, but I am hoping that it will give me back a little bit of the patience that I seem to have been lacking lately.

I regret nothing and feel no guilt about this trip. Honestly, if I knew YOU well enough... and knew the shoes YOU walk in daily.... if I knew YOUR shoes were as worn as mine, I would recommend you do the same thing.

Step away....... gain perspective..... try to gather strength and peace to come back fully charged again. Mid life crisis? probably not, I am not going to go buy a beach house or a convertible...... but I had the most amazing time! I was caring for ME for the first time in a LONG time. Selfish? maybe.... but after years of caring for so many others in my life (not just family, but friends included) someone needed to care for ME, I miss being truly cared for and life has severely taken that away (as I am sure it has for many of us).... I am admitting a weakness here *something not easy for me to do so this note is somewhat therapeutic.

Mostly what I learned while I was gone is that I am so terribly sad about not being near the ones I love outside of my immediate family. I miss my friends and my family that are still in Texas and I miss Texas itself. You often hear people say "It's a Texas thang, you wouldn't understand...." how very true that is.

Though not born there, I moved there when I was 2 and it was all I knew until I started moving away for relationship reasons. My dreams have always been to move back "home" so when I come to visit, it is extremely hard to leave...

So now......Life goes on, Pammie comes back into play here in Tennessee for now and KC, MO later, whenever... at whatever time THE COMPANY says it's time to go *again, out of my control..... but my heart and my soul will always be right where it needs to be and every chance I get will be spent back in Texas.

There truly is no place like home, and Texas will always be my home.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Fordcast - Wordless Wednesday

Seems I can't seem to get much blogging done lately EXCEPT Wordless Wednesdays! LOL

End of the school year was joy (and chaos) all the way around.
All four of my children did OUTSTANDING in school this year...
31 A's, 3 B's and 2 C's!!!
(okay, so I'm bragging a little, but I AM SUPER PROUD!)

My 5th grader graduated elementary school with a Silver Presidents Education Award!
*mom beaming.......

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Fordcast - Blogroll! How Fun is THAT!!!

So how fun is this? Over 300 new blogs to look at! Find the ones you like, support them, tell them you found them here and that MomDot provided the list! I am excited... School gets out in a day and a half and I will have SO much time to look at these! :-)


Thursday, May 14, 2009

Fordcast - May I Have an N Please


There are people in this world who have no children... and then there is me! I sometimes dream back to the days when the month of May was just that, one month in a series of twelve that make up a year! When you have a child in school the month of May becomes much more than just A month it becomes THE MONTH... add to that three MORE children and this is what you get...

4 Dr. Appointments
8 Performances
7 Programs/Award Ceremonies
9 Rehearsals
4 Field Trips
4 Parties
3 Meetings
1 Field Day
2 sets of Final Exams
1 5K for a charity close to our hearts
1 Golf tournament (for marching band)
4 Birthdays/Birthday Parties
4 Baseball Games for Randy
3 Picnics
and of course, Mother's Day

and that is just from April 25th to May 25th!!!!

Now, before anyone starts to say "you are the one that had so many hatchings" or "don't complain, it's your own fault"... Yes, I wanted multiple children. Yes, I chose to have a fourth. I am very blessed and very thankful for my life. VERY thankful.

But, seriously? Does EVERYTHING have to be in May? Okay, I totally understand the end of the school year stuff (our school year ends May 21st). Awards, promotion ceremonies, finals... but why do the field trips, performances, etc... all have to be scheduled for the last 2 weeks of school? Not to mention that National Teacher Appreciation Day was May 5th, so we as a PTO set Teacher Appreciation Week for that week. Yes, I said we, I did it too!!!! It made sense at the time...

I am financially, emotionally, mentally and physically fried.... I have notes coming home DAILY letting me know what I need to send for which event. My MomAgenda is completely full and that takes a LOT of scheduling! I feel I am under pressure to NOT send water to the 7th grade picnic (supposed to send sodas to that one) or sodas to the 8th grade picnic (send chips for that one)!!! What am I supposed to bring for Field Day, crap, I don't even remember and forget the 3rd grade picnic with the parent/child kickball competition that Jaxen can not even participate in!!!! I am up to my ears in reminder notes, and I am an ORGANIZED parent. It really seems as if each grade believes that your one child in their one class is the only child you are allowed to have. Which may be the case for some, but in our community is clearly NOT the case for most! I can only imagine what some of the other parents feel like, or maybe they just don't care, which would be so much easier! rotfl.....

Add to that the fact that Tennessee has had more rain already in May than we usually get in the entire month! I am going insane!!! Forget the old Calgon - Take me away commercials... I need a big ship to take me away on a 4 week cruise starting at the end of April every year.

Maybe next year I will do that and leave it all in the dear husbands hands to handle. That way when I come home and say, "what's for dinner" or "is my uniform clean for my game?" maybe he will understand "THE LOOK" I give him just a little better! LOL

Here's hoping and praying for a great May day today (in spite of the rain AGAIN)! All joking aside, I do love my life, my family and our choices we have made. We stay involved in our children's lives because it is important to us. I wouldn't have it any other way *unless they ask me for suggestions which isn't likely to happen! heehee

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Fordcast - Wordless Wednesday

Spring outside our bedroom window....

Friday, April 10, 2009

Fordcast - Disney 100!

Okay, so maybe it wasn't my brightest moment when I decided to chaperone 100 seventh and eigth grade band members to Disney for Spring Break.... *what could I possibly have been thinking?

Two of the members were children of my own and I made sure I paid a visit to "Design a Tee" on the Disney Strip and designed these t-shirts! One says Band Trip - Spring Break 2009 with a picture of Mickey yawning (since the kids got NO sleep the entire trip) and the other says I Survived "The Band Trip" Spring Break 2009 with a pic of Mickey running and screaming! This was an awesome place and had the shirts ready by the time we finished dinner and shopping! :-) The kids wore them the last day and a couple other moms did the same thing.... (only one other mom did the Survived shirt)!

We visited all four Disney Parks and I enjoyed each one for different reasons, but Epcot is still one of my favorites. I have only been to Disney during the Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays when it is all dressed up for Christmas, so I truly enjoyed the spring decorations. The flowers at Epcot were absolutely beautiful! The weather was great and as usual, there was one really cold day. I think we brought it from Tennessee because it spit sleet and snow here while we were gone! The rest of the weather was absolutely beautiful though. 70's, some 80's! BEAUTIFUL!!! Rain on and off one day and that was it!

Coming home from a trip like that (Saturday 6am to Thursday 9am) is always a treat. My other two children had made a banner for us! They were so proud of it! They really missed us a lot, Jaxen slept in my bed and took over my comfy red pillows! LOL I think they took over the neighbors house too while we were gone, but I know they were very well behave at home by themselves while Randy worked. Funny how your two youngest can be your two most mature!

Randy even cut fresh Lilacs from one of our two HUGE Lilac bushes and put them in a vase with a card! They smell so wonderful. I need to go take pics of all the green and flowers outside today.... I love Tennessee in Spring and am so happy to be home.

Lessons were learned on this trip just as they would be on any trip. Middle School drama is overwhelming, but CAN be overcome.... They just need love and attention. Like my own children, they need it from somewhere other than home. Their own parents are getting frustrated with them just as I am getting frustrated with my teenagers. Why is it that during these difficult ages, it is easier to connect with others' teenagers? I don't understand that! LOL

I feel as if I gained a huge group of new daughters and sons on this trip, some new adult friends as well and am so very thankful I went. *even if the drive out there that should have taken 11-12 hours took 17 hours (thanks Atlanta)!

Trying to catch up on some sleep, mail, bills, all the good stuff now! *TV shows....

Fordcast - Proud and exhausted!